Calavaire...Horrific...not Horror

This is the BEST scene from Calavaire (the Ordeal), a terrifying movie from Belgium. It's not a horror movie, but it was cringe worthy on many levels and not all in a good way. The synopsis says " Straw Dogs meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre", OK I get the references, but not exactly accurate.

Our protagonist is a traveling torche song revivalist named Marc Singer. Singer is heading south for a big christmas concert when his van breaks down in the town of "crazy freaking weirdo ville".
See video above.
Marc's 1st landfall with madness in this backwoods eastern european squealfest is with Bartel, a seemingly normal, friendly inn keeper who offers to help fix Marc's van. Bartel becomes transfixed with Marc and begins to think Marc is his unfaithful wife returned to pick up where they left off. This is about 50 minutes into the movie (snore) and where the Straw dogs/TCM reference begins. The difference between this movie and Straw Dogs, however, is that their IS no real conclusion to this movie. Their is no come uppance and Marc gives up at the very first sight of danger.
The rest of the movie...just happens and at the end...who cares.

Rent Martyrs instead. A better, if still flawed blood fest.

Vanity Tax to titilate Surgeon General of Beverly Hills

The Big O, not Oprah, our President; has begun a "Vanity Tax" proposal. Basically, those who can afford to have the fat sucked out of their asses and injected into other parts, should pay a little more to do so. This would provide funding for those who can't afford basic health care, which is a fantastic move as far as I'm concerned. However, people who can afford these procedures will be generally outraged. Which may actually be a good thing if you think about it. Their outrage leads to frown lines, crows feet around the eyes and creases in the brow area. These defects mixed with the stress of higher taxes will lead to further wrinkles in the neck and cheeks. Due to the pained expressions and scowls the pastiche of human Barbies and Ken will make. Leading,inevitably, to even further plastic surgery and thereby funding the fixing of the cleft palate of a newborn or getting that pesky dead twin laser ed off a welfare child who can go on to do great things without a chip (or dead twin) on his shoulder.

The Surgeon General of Beverly Hills is all smiles today...can't you tell?

WHHEEE!

This is Torche.
They're really good.
This video rules.

Buy Meanderthal

Be seeing you.

I hope they don't screw this up.

from Wired.com

Sir Ian McKellen: I’ve seen it work. But there’s no point in wondering how am I going to measure up to the other Number Twos, because it’s just a different script altogether. My man is called Number Two, because that character was originally called Number Two. But he is Number One.

New to you

Hello, welcome to the Laughing Dagger. What is this blog about, you ask? Not really sure just yet, probably about whatever I want it to be about. You can bet it'll have commentary on horror movies, loud rock bands and ridiculous pop culture that will fill your grubby little brains with useless babble that'll get stored in your head and take up room in your sub-conscious better served for things like long division or latin or any number of actually useful information. Having said that, I guess I should stop now, while I haven't done any harm to you the web perusing public, but let's face it, you weren't going to use that part of your brain anyway, were you.

Here are the young widows to brighten your day!