Remember about a year ago, when that Chimpanzee wouldn't chill out for company and it's "Mommy" gave it Xanax to cool it out. Do you remember what happened next? That chimp went ape shit and ripped off her face with its bizarre simian strength. What is with THAT!? Apparently, it is no secret that when Chimpanzees turn around 8 years old, they get some sort of monkey althzeimers and forget everything they've been taught. This can lead to some snags in man simian relations as you can imagine; seeing as THEY ARE WILD ANIMALS! Duh... Soooo, what went wrong? Well, in a "normal" PERSON, Xanax would have helped, but even humans with emotional problems have to stay away from certain drugs and especially those that regulate moods because a lot of times they have adverse reactions to them. For example: give a kid with A.D.H.D coffee and it could potentially send them to dreamland toot sweet. So give an unstable animal Xanax and it could potentially send said animal into a simulated 'roid rage, that could potentially rival any Angel Dust imbibing mammal for overall carnage. Seriously, these are supposed to be our cousins in the gene pool, we treat them nice, give them jobs (circus, showbiz, whatever) and the animal equivalent of a 401k (the zoo) and they repay us by ripping our faces off...that's not very cool buddy.
Anyways, I have before and after pictures of the lady who got FUBAR'ed by her chimpanzee. It's pretty brutal and you may throw up in your mouth a little bit...P.S. chick has no hands either...yikes
Before
After
Moral of the story? Never trust a monkey. The End.
That's what ya get for enslaving a primate as a "pet!"
ReplyDeleteIndeed.
ReplyDeleteI know guys that would still hit it. Ew.
ReplyDelete