T.H.C II

Tom Six has a fantastic eye for creepy character actors; Dieter Laser as Dr. Heiter in the first and Laurence R. Harvey as disturbed loner Martin in this installment of the man/insect fecal fest. Laurence Harvey is amazing as the bug-eyed protagonist, an abused loser who…ok, he’s a psychopath, and not in the Ted Bundy charismatic sort of way. Martin is borderline
mentally challenged, the beauty is he has zero lines in the entire movie; a feat more impressive since he’s in every scene. It’s his perverse presence that makes this film amazing. Where T.H.C lacked in gore, this one delivers, but it’s almost unnecessary. The point was to make it more brutal, since Martin isn’t a doctor, his centipede is far more crude and thus, much scarier. His centipede is much bigger, because it is a total labor of love, so much so that he has to profess his love for it, so to speak. The mood is right; the story is consistent, if not even comical at times, but it’s the characters, not the story that makes this film. So, I’m torn; not a fantastic film, but perfect casting of caricatures of real, real disturbed people. Look for the ode to, Schindler’s List, according to Six.

AND, they made a sequel?

Being a bit of Horror movie aficionado, I am able to suspend my disbelief accordingly; especially, when it comes to the Villain/Hero’s abilities. When Jason pops up after NOT running after his prey that should be at least a half a mile away, it’s okay because he’s basically a zombie with a hockey mask and absolutely NOTHING else has seemed plausible up to that point. Basically, when all bets are off, one can accept almost anything. Laid to Rest does not play this game effectively. As a matter of opinion, this may be one of the worst attempts to pander to an audience I have ever seen. The cast is not stellar, but I’m not sure we can even blame them for the poor showing that this proves to be. The lead actress, Bobbie Sue Luther is very nice to look at, but when she delivers the line, “I woke up in a, in a, dead box!” You’re like…”what?” She has amnesia and can’t remember the names of things, so, yeah. Every character makes such bad decisions in this bucket of turds, that at some point I had to stop the movie and actually wonder aloud if this was either an attempt (bad attempt) at high art spoof or if the screen writers actually thought that moving the story along meant having our characters hide from the bad guy in some of the most bizarrely obvious and poorly planned places and maneuvers. When I say obvious and stupid, the main character wakes up in a funeral parlor and when given the option to get the hell out of dodge or go back to where she was 1st introduced to the killer, guess what she chooses? Apparently, this is an option because she absolutely has got to remember something and that’s the only place possible!? I wasn’t aware that riding in a car to safety made one incapable of thinking. Ugh, Chrome Skull…ok, this is the most offensive aspect of this film. The folks behind this movie wanted to come up with a modern horror icon and that’s basically it; this is the only explanation for how bad the rest of this movie is. He’s a high tech killer, with out of date equipment, he has a seemingly impervious metal skull for a face and video cameras on his shoulders, for which there is little or no explanation. Apparently, a maniac surgeon on the loose is the entire back story necessary, how is that possible? The guys license plate on his Mercedes is CRMSKL…in what world is it a problem to track this guy down? Crazy surgeon, uses high tech, satellite linked cell phones, with a messed up face (allegedly) and a license plate that says CRMSKL, seems to me like Encyclopedia Brown would have had that one solved in 30 minutes or less, and that’s pre-internet; plus, the opportunity to use Suicidal Tendencies on your soundtrack and not use “I saw your Mommy.” Really? Party foul, guys!

Ween

I'm not sure what I was doing while the world was shielding me from Ween, but screw you world. Unfortunately, the gentlemen in Ween will never get the credit they deserve for being amazingly adept songwriters. Here's the rub, while most bands write the poetry of 10th grade schoolgirls, obsessed with Twilight movies and such, Ween could actually be the next Beatles and in the next breath they could be the next Ramones or outlaw country legends. They purposefully have no discernible sound, other then the complete and utter hatred for genre defining. What? "Why, won't these demon masters of musical prowess ever reach the status of near ethereal demi-gods" you ask? It's because they have a sense of humor and stupid people feel like they're being made fun of when they don't understand. Why, does this band go from psychedelia to Ennio Morricone-esque songs of double cross and revenge, only to switch to seemingly stream of conscious silliness and then off in some other delusional direction? They do it because no one else is doing it, they do it because they can and their damn good at it.






If you couldn't tell from the picture, these are all from the Chocolate and Cheese album. Which seems to perfectly illustrate my point.
Gene and Dean Ween deserve our respect, love and admiration. However, like all self assured guys with a good balance of hubris and self esteem, they refuse to demand our attention. They know how sweet the conversion is from ambivalent A-hole to hysteric induced disciple; they've done it to Henry Rollins...do you think you're stronger then Henry Rollins?



I mean look at him up there, his neck is the size of a redwood tree.

Hobo with a Shotgun!

Look at that poster; it's a thing of beauty isn't it? This grindhouse trailer became the kind of movie that Troma used to be infamous for making. A movie that proudly features ridiculous sex, over the top violence and a skewed sense of reality for no reason other then to titillate. These characters would easily fit in the Toxic Avenger's Tromaville. Random punks, kill people with bumper cars, the number one cause of death for crossing our villain Drake is beheading by barbwire noose while being suspended by a manhole cover neatly placed around the neck; a rather elaborate, but highly entertaining death scene. Bottom line, exploitation movies don't take themselves seriously and don't expect you to either. They are simply eye candy, with no lessons to learn except the bad guys have to pay at any cost.
Even when uber bad guys "The Plague" show up and bring the whole movie to a seemingly new level of the preposterous, it doesn't matter. They are simply rad characters, who apparently, killed Jesus and Abraham Lincoln. Even the soundtrack is spot on for this type of movie. Here's a huge kudos to writer/director Jason Eisener and company for resurrecting the fun of low budget chicanery. Now if only we can get Rob Zombie on that Werewolf Women of the SS feature...

Insidious, indeed.

The love child of Animal from the Muppets and Darth Maul playing peek a boo behind Nite Owl


in·sid·i·ous/inˈsidēəs/Adjective
1. Proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects.
2. Treacherous; crafty

Insidious is actually two movies; the first one is a suspense building, scare-a-thon with brilliant music and tons of potential. Unfortunately, the second is made up of outtakes from some mid 90's low budget, Canadian, tween, horror program; Are you afraid of the dark?, maybe. So, the best thing I can say about James Wan's film is that through some Andy Kaufamn-esque feat of joke playing, he sold us all on a horror film that is really a mockery of bad horror films. Let's breakdown this shipwreck and see if the critique floats, shall we?

This is Mom; she's played by Rose Byrne who portrays her as being a bit tortured. Mom writes music, for what we don't know, although we see a book in the beginning of the movie that says something about healing through music. So, we are to believe that Mom is going through something and needs to write music because she has to "Exorcise the demons." However, this is never broached throughout the entire movie. Is Mom depressed because her husband is a school teacher, who can afford 2 different huge houses or maybe because she has 3 kids, who aside from the crying baby, seem pretty nice? We get no answers. Maybe I missed something, but that life doesn't sound so bad, stay at home mom, aspiring songwriter, Dad gets the summers off.

Hey, speaking of Dad, there he is again! Dad is a school teacher who used to astral project when he slept, although we don't find this out until randomly Barbara Hershey shows up 3/4 of the way through the film and reminds him of it. Then she tells him he used to be haunted by an old lady ghost who wanted his body.

Oh, there she is. Anyways, this is all relevant because Dad and Mom's first born, Dalton has astral projected himself into "the Further" and can't get back because Animal/Darth Maul won't let him.
All of this is actually well done, despite the lack of necessary plot points. It's when Dad/Nite Owl decides to mount a rescue mission, with no preparation that things get, well, shitty.
First thing James Wan, no more smoke machines for you, ever. Your smoke machine license has been irreparably revoked, sorry pal. Dad finds himself in "the Further" and inexplicably, nothing makes any damn sense from there in the film. The demon never gets a full reveal, but we do see him getting down to the sounds of Tiny Tim's Tiptoe through the Tulips with his dolls and puppets while sharpening his metal nails, so there's that, I guess. Plus, were supposed to connect the dots between a spectral kid running around the house grooving to the same jam earlier in the movie and the demon, but we really don't get an explanation. Other than the 2 characters really like the musical styling of Tiny Tim.
I mean, if the point is the Demon was once that kid and wants to be a kid again, I get it, but you really made us work for that.
This movie is a mess, it's almost as if the budget was blown on the beginning of the movie and the film makers got bored and decided to just end the damn thing. Insidious, means to proceed in a gradual, subtle way with harmful effects. I agree with that, perfect name for this move.

The Sudden Passion "Central Standard Time"

Above is the video for "Herpes of the Heart" by The Sudden Passion. Curiously, I have no idea how I procured this little gem of a record, but I feel that it has something to do with my cavalier attitude towards the "stealing" of music online. Seems these indie-folk outlaws found a way to tack their record, "Central Standard Time" onto the the Black Keys "Brothers" album. Whether or not this is sanctioned by the Black keys is unknown at this time, however if I were the Black Keys, I would just go with it. The Sudden Passion, are...different; for lack of a better description, they sound like what They Might Be Giants, would sound like if they'd been weaned on a healthy diet of Exile on Mainstreet era Rolling Stones and outlaw country records. If you think that's a diss, you're totally in the wrong place. The songs seem heartfelt and I found myself snickering at first to the contrast of heartfelt songwriting with the litany of F-bombs used to describe emotion. Then, after a few spins I realized, there are no polite words to describe the feeling of the word "Fuck." Sometimes, maybe even in polite company, you gotta "Fuck." Despite, this realization, it does sound unnatural in the connotation, but all good art has to challenge the audience to follow it down the rabbit hole of the artists imagination. Once, I let go and went along for the ride, i felt like this was a well worn, scratched CD that had been a staple in the cars of good friends, during long nights, looking for some action and only finding good conversation, good tunes and cold beers. Yeah, I really, really like it.

Support these guys and pick up a copy, or download it and buy a t-shirt when they're on tour in your town or something.

The politics of Hospitality.

There is a certain poetic justice to the collapse of our financial sector; especially, if you work in the Service Industry. Now, “Why would I be happy to bite the hand that feeds me?” you may ask. Service Industry workers totally rely on those with capital to keep the light on, that’s true; however, the sad truth is no one tips better then those IN the Service Industries…who have very little money to throw around. Yeah, we party better then anyone, mostly because we HAVE to blow off steam or kill 17 nurses from a bell tower with a rifle after having been abused by self absorbed assholes with shitty crying children making modern art all over the floor. Do I look like a janitor/babysitter/whipping boy? If so is it my haircut? What else can I do to make YOU and yours civilized? We don’t want to hate you though; it runs counter productive to the process of Hospitality. Seriously, we really want you to enjoy your meal/drink/experience; it’s more fun that way for all of us. So, here are a few tips that will hopefully repair relations between our kind. Maybe, one day in the not so distant future we can all have drinks after a successful 4 star dining experience and adequate compensation. Shit, I’ll recommend the place and the first round is on me.

1. If you are discussing business, get a conference room.
It’s not the act of shop talk that we dislike as servers, it’s the time spent doing it. You’re all gravy if you’re eating and drinking, but once the meal is over and you’re sipping water at some one’s table for an hour, you’re really cutting into our time to turn the table. This may sound shitty, but it’s the only reason were there. This generally happens at lunch time, seeing as at supper after dinner drinks and coffee are much more prevalent. Look, make us all happy, get a conference room and order in or have your meeting at the beach or something, get creative or use the matrix that states for every 20 minutes you sit at my table not eating or drinking that will be a $2 stagnant table fee added to my tip.

2. If your kid is too young to behave, don’t go out.
Now, this is a tough one because I love kids. Some kids are totally cool and don’t give you problems, they look around bewildered by the new surroundings, loving every second of being somewhere new. Others scream like a banshee at the first sign of a new and terrible place. Now, were not heartless creatures, servers that is, we understand that kids do that, but take the kid outside! Just because you’ve become dead behind the ears to the murderous screams of your child doesn’t mean anyone else has; shit man, that kids killing my ability to stifle this hangover and my other tables get pissed at me for not saying something. See, see how that’s a double edged sword for me? If I say something to you, you’ll get mad at me if I don’t I lose out on all the other tips. I know you need to go out and get a meal, your human beings, but you had children, you lost your rights to a nice dinner out for a few years. Sorry, that’s just the way it is if your too cheap to hire a babysitter.

3. If the table isn’t big enough to accommodate, don’t force it.
True story, I worked at a steakhouse where the policy was, we aren’t a banquet style eatery and we don’t have a banquet room, so we don’t do parties of 10 or more. So, a guy comes in on a slow lunch and wants us to accommodate his party of 15, I explain the policy and his response is, “Why don’t you just push some of these tables together.”; as if that had never occurred to anyone before in the history of the world. I explained that the tables were indeed bolted to the floor, (because, that question had been broached several times.) so, instead of accepting his fate and either splitting up his party or going someplace else, he gets on his hands and knees in his overpriced suit and starts trying to take the bolts out of the floor. I shit you not. I know he was trying to make a point and some business men have to exert dominance over the world, that’s how they get where they got to in life; but you look like an asshole when you do that. If it looks like an asshole, smells like an asshole and is totally full of shit…

4. If you want a booth/table say that.
It’s Friday at 8:30, you’ve had to wait at the overcrowded bar for 45 minutes and your name gets called, “Goodie” you think, it’s time to eat! The Host gets you within spitting range of your gastronomic real estate and you go, “Oh, I’m sorry we wanted a booth.” Look, I know your problem is important to you and your Filet and bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape won’t taste the same in a different altitude, but see the pile up at the door? That’s your fault, those people can’t get seated, ‘cause no one knows what the Host is doing, and know your going to double seat the server where you want to sit out of turn, so that person will have to go into rushed mode to get you started in a timely manner as well as getting table 5’s appetizers out in enough time because they didn’t know they were going to get double sat and just put in the entrees as well. That’s what happens if you aren’t specific and willing to wait a little longer. Think of it like this: if you have someone in a wheelchair, you have to make the concession that they can make it to the table, so you tell the Hosts right away, “My mother is in a wheelchair and she can’t get up the stairs or sit in a booth, so we’ll need a table.” Think of what you want, if you’re going to be so particular and ask for it. Or, you get what you get and be happy you got a seat at 8:30 on a Friday without reservations…jerk.

5. Don’t steal my pen.
Don’t steal my fucking pen. I pay for those. When you go, “Oh, this is a great pen…” Yeah, I know they make me buy those here; they do not come free with your meal.

6. If your going to make me split your bill 8 ways, be patient.
These days splitting checks isn’t a big deal, but it does take some time and if you don’t tell us to begin with it can become a huge hassle. Also, if you’re in a hurry all of a sudden and you’re splitting things 8 ways you’re just an asshole. Sorry, but you can’t spring that shit out of nowhere and expect it to be ok. “Hey, can we get our checks and were on a bit of a time crunch sooo…” NO! That is information, such as the splitting of the checks, is something that you let us know from the start. How can I adequately serve you and make sure you have everything you need to enjoy yourself if you don’t let me know. I can only ask so many questions without looking like I’m trying to hurry you along. Work with me here people.

7. If you’re cool, you will get awesome service.
You ever go out with someone who wants everything 30 seconds before they ordered it and gets pissed when it’s not there? I have not evolved to the point of extra sensory perception, so I didn’t know you needed soda water no ice with a lime twist, sorry. If you treat me with the respect I deserve, and I’m handling your food, so I guess for some people that’s a sliding scale, you will get the best service I can provide. Plus, I might be able to pull some strings and get you some free shit. Yeah, it’s true, generally if a table is fun and talkative and really has a good time the managers will comp dessert to keep the party going. That is like food manager crack, “Table 5 is having a great time, they’ve had some wine some nice steaks and their really fun, can we buy them dessert?” 95% of the time they say yes, it looks good for them, me and the restaurant to keep people happy. Plus, they had to right of the 2 desserts they had to give away earlier because of the implied shitty service they got because of the couple that didn’t want to sit in the booth/table offered to them first.

Do you see the cycle, a pattern emerging? Please, follow these steps and seriously, everyone is happy. I promise, we wont make fun of you when you leave because you called Tosh.O blue humor or couldn’t remember Seth McFarlane is the guy who does Family Guy.

John dies at the end.

Soooo, here's this crazy ass book I just read. If your the kind of person who watched "The Thing" and wondered why they weren't making dick and fart jokes in between the head spider spawning, this book is for you.
Apparently, they're finishing up a movie adaption directed by Don Cascarelli of Phantasm and Bubba-HoTep fame...which should be pretty spot on. Look at this freaking guy from the movie?! I Don't even know where this fits in, but here it is.

The writer of this yarn is the editor of Cracked.com
A Brilliant website that oddly enough carries on the strangeness of my childhood, by growing up and out of the box with me...go figure.

So, as we await the sequel:
John and Dave and the Temple of X’al’naa”thuthuthu

And of course, the film version; stay tuned children. or get the book...or whatever.

Dude...

A little taste of things to come. April 12th!

First post out of the aughts.

Up above you will see Kittens, Manitoba Noise punk legends doing a song called "Great Dane." I think it's a fantastic song and the kind of thing that inspires me to dig deeper into the underbelly of alt/indie/noise/whatever music. This being a new year it's quite refreshing to find something new to obsess over. Right now it's Kittens.

Here are the furry ones doing a number called "Jack Knife."



This lil' live number is called "The Lone Ranger."



One can't help but wonder,how could he be the Lone Ranger if he has a faithful and ever present sidekick? Tonto, may not be a ranger but that doesn't mean it's not kind of a dick move to assume that the sidekick doesn't matter, especially if said sidekick has the same standards as the aforementioned hero/ranger. I mean, technically that makes said sidekick a ranger in training or ranger like...right? Maybe it would have been more precisely put if the Lone White Man were the name of the show.

Can we start forgetting this happened?

 

All the scarring, none of the scare.

Hanna Barbera! Was this movie terrible or what? It took me this long to extrapolate on this turd because I didn't want to destroy one of my favorite horror icons by even seeing this thing. However, morbid curiosity would not take a rest and I rented it. In hindsight, I wish I wouldn't have done that, seeing as Michael Bay will get paid for destroying my childhood. Son of a bitch, what's with this guy and his Platinum Dunes crusade to destroy all that was great with classic 70's and 80's horror?! The Friday the 13th reboot was at least interesting because they gave Jason a touch of humanity, not that he needed it, but the new Freddy is not one thing like the old. Haven't we gone through this already with The New Nightmare? They tried to replace Robert Englund then and NO ONE liked that movie. I really like Jackie Earl Haley; I thought he was awesome as Rorschach in Watchmen, probably the best casting job for that movie over all. However, Jackie Earl Haley sucked the life out of Freddy Krueger. The jokes/one liners were not funny or scary in fact they were laughable for all the wrong reasons. The over the top death scenes and premise of the original movies, no matter how outlandish, complimented the fact that all of the killing and terrorizing happened in dreams; this makes any of the stupid bullshit, like the little meatball head pizza make sense.
                                                           
                                                               
See, that's awesome enough to put you off meatball pizza for at least a month! Remember the girl who pumped iron to cheesy 80's rock music and hated bugs? What's her ultimate fate? She gets her arms crushed by her weights and turns into a bug and then gets squashed.It all looks  very painful and horrific...see below.

If anything, this is a really interesting and imaginative take on delusional, self-loathing teenage psychosis. She obviously works out to feel powerful (she's the tough bitch, remember) and hates anything she deems as unpure or dirty (cockroaches, cigarettes etc), thus what could be worse then being overpowered and turned into something she sees as completely dirty and unpure. It's quite brilliant when you think about it, because it's so weird, enetertaining and above all...simple.
Where was the imagination in this new piece of garbage? All the best kills were the ones from the first movie and by contrast, they didn't even make sense in this one. What was the point of Tina being in the body bag here? There wasn't one except they had to fill their script with things that would be reminiscent of the original so they could use the name and character to make money.

I mean, no matter how cheesy that is, it was relevent to the time and still makes you chuckle. Unlike this shitty remake. When can we start healing from this atrocity?

 

How awesome is that? He has a powerglove!

SUPER GOD FIGHT! GO....

Voltaire has been, possibly incorrectly, quoted as saying, “I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death, your right to say it.” This speaks to the very crux of the 1st Amendment. As a matter of fact one of the only addendums to the 1st Amendment is in the case of when speech is used to incite violence. That’s the difference between protesting and starting a riot; one is the fundamental backbone of American culture and the other is a backlash. Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fl has decided that instead of turning the other cheek, as suggested in his holy book, or perhaps extending his hand in friendship to the Muslims in G-ville in order to help people understand and heal, it would be in his best interest to burn the Qur’an. Now, I may not be a religious person, but something certainly doesn‘t sit right with me about burning books, especially holy books. The last group to pull those shenanigans on such news worthy scale was the Nazi’s and we all know how that story ended up in the annuals of history. I don’t get where people get off pointing fingers and throwing stones where religion is concerned. I get that everyone believes that they’re right, but does that mean that you’re so nearsighted you can’t see when you’re being manipulated to become the worst of your kind? All major religions share the golden rule, there is no dispute about that, however to misconstrue teachings that are all based on the same premise to the point that everyone in that ideology is an extremist is so transparently wrong you do yourself a disservice by getting involved. Guess what? You have become what you hate.

 You have transcended the teachings of your religion and corralled all people of a certain faith together, a faith that teaches that maybe Jesus wasn’t the savior but he was an extremely good and powerful profit of God, into Jihadist extremists. In America we have freedom of religion, it’s one of the perks, so your argument, though you have the right to make it, is invalid. Put a mosque on ground zero and let the healing begin, that's what I say. Don’t be so sure that your skewed opinion, Terry Jones, is the gospel, you may find yourself with no answers one day when you have to explain yourself. Not to mention, you are ruining it for the rest of us by picking a fight with people where ideology is the issue. There are no losers when everyone lays their life down for God, except for the rest of us that get caught in the crossfire. Hey, Hollywood, maybe it’s time for you to get involved! Something tells me that Terry Jones and all the other of his ilk might be interested in a new reality show that could take place on an island in the Pacific, someplace really nice. We’ll get a bunch of staunch “bible thumpers” from each religion that are willing to sacrifice us for themselves and their ego, we’ll give them sharp sticks and set them loose on the island, Lord of the Flies style. Whoever, has the most powerful god (a.k.a whoever’s right) will win! We’ll call it: Super God Fight! While all this shit is playing out on T.V. across the World, the rest of us will get on with living; which can be really hard enough to deal with without all this other crap.

I admit I’m a music snob. I am, however, a little more critical of female musicians then I am of male musicians. Why? The reason for this is that male musicians generally all suck and if you throw a stone in any direction in any city you’ll hit a shitty one. However, I feel that women in general are much more discerning about most things and so I expect great things. This being a topic of musicians in a generally chauvinistic industry, there are obviously those chicks that try and build a career on tits, make-up and the aping of already established acts. For instance, when No Doubt hit it big, any blond with an ok voice and abs thought they could be Gwen Stefani, which isn’t the case. In any case, the crux of this one sided convo is that there are very talented individuals who don’t play those games and unfortunately fall through the cracks. One of those groups is the band Bleach03 or just Bleach as they are apparently known everywhere else in the world. Bleach, were a Japanese girl band that embodied one part Minutemen, to 2 parts Amphetamine Reptile-esque hardcore noise punk. Whatever the hell that sounds like right? Well, it sounded great and it didn’t matter, so they’ve broken up. They did a few tours of the states, played SXSW and Amoeba and after a few years, gave up the ghost. Total bummer, they had the chops to be cute enough to lull you into a state of total submission on one song and then when you least expected it, they would attack in the first note of the next song; totally ripping to shreds any semblance of sweetness they may have perpetrated. These bitches were amazing, and I bet could give any “Boy” band a run for their money live. Alas, we may never know, because they are off to do other things in Okinawa, Japan. Shit.
LOUD:

HI!HI!HI!:

How epic do you want it?

New Grinderman. This should speak for itself, but if you are a worthless person with no taste, here's your introduction. This is Nick Cave (of Nick Cave fame) and other equally rad dudes amazingly effective way of stepping up game. You've been warned faux Rock bands. These guys are old as shit and still much more awesome then you.

Cibo Matto

I love this version of this song.

Prop 8

Hey kids, sorry I've neglected you. Daddy's been busy in the real world, doing real things. In the meantime, Prop 8 has been overturned in Schwarzenegger’s Kully-For-Nea. For those of you who aren't familiar, Prop 8 put into legal terms the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman. Apparently, big proponents of this measure are the Roman Catholic Church, Knights of Columbus and the Mormons, big surprise. Here's the thing, if there is one place a person should be careful of serving 2 masters, its church. Don't you think? How can one Sunday be all about loving your neighbor, doing good deeds, love the sinner, hate the sin, turn the other cheek, etc; in the same breath as marriage between two consenting adults is only to be for a man and a woman? How did this craziness make it into legislature? I get...I guess, how religious people get all up in arms about gay marriage, but they need to stay the hell out of government. Separation of Church and State isn't optional. Let your personal beliefs be your moral barometer, sure, but to actually impact the lives of others with your beliefs when the topic of conversation doesn't really concern you, is just plain, flat out wrong. I'm a man. I will never have a baby inside of my body. Therefore, it's my personal belief that no matter what I think of abortion, right or wrong, it's not my place to say. I have no business weighing in on either side. Do I have a say in what Tampons my wife uses? Should I? That has nothing to do with me and furthermore I don't want to be involved. That's how pro Prop 8'ers should see this issue. Don't recognize the marriage in your church or religion, that's totally cool with me; but DO NOT make it impossible for people who love each other to get the benefits reserved for heterosexual couples. That's not right. When legislative bodies get together to discuss legislating, the first question should be "Does this infringe on anyone's civil rights?" If so, it should be off the table. Civil Rights are one thing all people are entitled to. To violate them because of personal beliefs is not only wrong, but shameful. It's funny the Catholics would have an opinion on the subject; you would think they'd be more involved with curbing their sects appetite for little boys before casting stones. Why did the Mormons feel the need to ship trucks full of money to California from Salt Lake City? Hey Jesus Astronauts, mind your own damn business! You can marry an unlimited amount of women to one man and your going to cast disparaging comments on a committed couple who want just a fraction of what you allow, (and the Govt, doesn't recognize) shame on you.

Why wont you people let Steve Buscemi and Ted Nugent be happy? What did they ever do to you?

Nintendo Freddy and Michael Bay

Alright, so I was pondering stupidity and its place in the survival of the species, when it dawned on me; Why is Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). being produced by Michael Bay? There are no car chases (hopefully), there shouldn’t be a ton of explosions, the sex, though gratuitous in these movies, is instantly replaced by the lesson that pre-marital fornication will get you fingered by the razor handed one; none of this adds up.
One might say, “Well, just because he’s producing it, doesn’t mean he’s directing It.” and though you are correct, why do you think directors, produce? In order to enlighten/in this case poison other generations of directors. It’s ok when, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, Guillermo Del Toro or Peter Jackson produces things because they have a style but they don’t let people in on their secrets. Even if they did, no one can get inside of their heads to rip them off; there is no formula. Michael Bay on the other hand, is all formula. Which is why Transformers does so well, it was a tailor made franchise for Bay. He gets to play with big toys and blow shit up; that’s all MB does, he’s known for blowing shit up. So, why does he need: Texas Chainsaw (Abercrombie & Fitch, commercial) Massacre, Friday (survivalist camp) the 13th and now my favorite child hood nightmare maker A Nightmare on Elm Street? Plus, how come we get 2 awesome Halloweens from Rob Zombie and now we have to suffer Michael Bay’s ego? Dudes…come on! Both directors (of all 3 movies) are music video directors. Shenanigans!
I mean, I’m going to see it and all…let me once again throw my support to the Human Centipede, a movie I haven’t seen, for gross out future of horror status. I can’t wait to see this vomit inducing gem. If you can’t scare their pants off, get ‘em a puke bucket, that’s what I say.

:::UPDATE::::

I know you were holding your breath, but Bouncing Souls ARE still around:

That's the cover of their new record, in case your interested.

Sorry, so sloppy...

Hi. I know, I havent been around lately. We've missed the tea bagger rally on tax day (can't really say I missed it.) with this crazy person:

The Human centipede has an actual trailer.

http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/the-human-centipede/trailer

And, in celebration of things that are awesome, Nike made these shoes:

Michael Bay, made the new movie with the guy who was in Bad News Bears then did a decent job playing Rorschach. I mean, he was good and all, but Freddy Krueger is an icon, man. Robert Englund, is a classically trained actor for gods sake!

On a different note, been feeling nostalgic for shittier times. Why? Dunno, maybe because I didn't know any better. In any case, my playlist for the day is: OP IVY, Stiff Little Fingers and:

+

Viva, Bouncing Souls...are those guys even still around?

Hypocrisy 101

 

Oh yeah, remember that? No? Well, here are some things Ol' Rushie poo has had to say in the past about drug abusers:

These tough sentencing laws were instituted for a reason. The American people, including liberals, demanded them. Don't you remember the crack cocaine epidemic? Crack babies and out-of-control murder rates? Liberal judges giving the bad guys slaps on the wrist? Finally we got tough, and the crime rate has been falling ever since, so what's wrong?

--RushLimbaugh.com (8/18/03)

In the audio link below, I go into detail about these non-thinking talking points that "you can't tell people what to do with their bodies" and "you can't legislate morality." First of all, we tell people what they can do to their bodies all the time--no cocaine, no prostitution, no throwing yourself off a building. Second, laws are nothing but defining morality!

--RushLimbaugh.com (6/27/03)

All right. Joe Fernandez came to New York from Miami, ladies and gentlemen, to be schools chancellor.... Now he is embattled--he's got a book that just came out, an autobiography that's soon to come out, I think, in which he admits that he was a mainliner as a teen-ager. This guy [pretends to stick needle in arm]--pfsst--shot up heroin. And people are praising him. He overcame the scourge. He triumphed over that profound obstacle in his life and has gone on to become this great schools chancellor.... [Plays a clip of Fernandez saying that the message of his teenage drug use is "to not give up on our kids."]

Reach out and try to help them, not give up on the kids, give them condoms and teach them about a bunch of stuff that is worthless in terms of preparing them for their future as adults in the greatest country on Earth, teaching them all this social gobbledygook. "Let's not forget about the kids."...  

Whoa. The guy wants to be education secretary, folks. Watch out. Now why does he want to go to Washington? Probably because he's studied the case of Marion Barry. Here's a guy who got involved in drugs. You want to see my Marion Barry impersonation? Do you want to see that? All right. I'll do the Marion Barry impersonation.  

You put some stuff out here on the table and you go [pretends to snort cocaine]. "You tell Jesse to stay out of my town. This is my town, and Jesse--you tell him to stay out. [More snorting.] And I said no, no, no, no, I don't smoke it no more. Tired of ending up on the floor." [More snorting.]  

So what is he? He gets involved in drugs and ends up, ladies and gentlemen, as a newly elected official in Washington, D.C....  So I'm sure Joe Fernandez is looking down there saying, "Hey, there's a future for, you know, drug users in Washington, D.C."

--Rush Limbaugh TV show (12/8/92)

When you strip it all away, Jerry Garcia destroyed his life on drugs. And yet he's being honored, like some godlike figure. Our priorities are out of whack, folks.

--Rush Limbaugh radio show (quoted in the L.A. Times, 8/20/95)

And, on April 28th 2006 Rush turned himself in to the authorities on a charge of committing fraud to obtain prescription drugs. Look, A person's problems are their own, unless they're calling everyone else in the room out for the same thing. That's a tightrope walk that no one can ever win. Yet, there is no new found Hubris in Rush, he still shoots steam into people's ears every day and they lap it up. Why? Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but when people are LYING to you, how can you trust them, their judgment and ability to make rational decisions. Make up your own mind, you really don't need Rush to do that for you. Unfortunately, when you make such a big deal about things, you do and your called on it, "I'm Sorry" is not sufficient.

P.s. Rush Limbaugh is NOT a satirist. He is an American radio host, conservative political commentator, and an influential opinion leader in the conservative movement in the United States...and a Retard.

P.p.s Family Guy, IS satire.

Oh yeah, then there's this guy.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rage Within the Machine - Progressivism
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Come on Glenn Beck...really? What the hell does that mean? Do you know what words mean?
How come John Stewart can completely evicerate the talking heads, but you never hear them come back with a good rebuttal?



Tucker Carlson and Paul Begalia got more then they bargained for in that clip and this clip in particular may be the reason The Daily Show has become the fact checker du jour for the extreme right wing. No one else is doing it, no one else is calling people on their shit and even Huffinton Post puts up links to, The Daily Show.

Then this:

 

Huh?

What?

Alright, look to use the socialism/communist/marxist argument is moot on all accounts, because we already socialize alot of things. Like John Stewart so eloquently pointed out to GB Libraries are socialized, roads, schools, police, firefighters, garbage men etc.

And then there's this:

http://images.eonline.com/static/news/pdf/PlaygirlSubpoena.pdf 

This is a link to the full version of this:

 

Proof that Tripp Palin Johnston, Sarah Palin's grandson, is a recipient of socialized health care. I guess the Death Panels don't apply to him, right?

Don't be stupid, willfully ignorant or naive. Politicians are here to sell us their ideas and themselves. They are showmen these days acting out for the amusement and money of the masses. They don't need to be the reason WE can't have civil discourse. Ideas should be the reason...my ideas, your ideas, our ideas. None of us has to agree, but to disagree with a person who has their own ideas about the world, is much more rewarding then debating someone else's, somewhat skewed idea of the world. That makes it all second hand information, and we all know what happens when we play telephone, the message gets lost in translation.

  

That's more like it.